Random ruminations of a sassy Scot
My thoughts on life, love, the world, my ambitions, hopes and dreams
NPHET (National Public Health Emergency Team) have recommended that masks are no longer required in schools, retail, hospitality and on public transport. They will still be required in health care settings. The government have accepted this recommendation and it is likely to come into effect on February 28th 2022. I am not yet ready to …
Continue reading “My Coronavirus Diary 17”
My sleep is terrible. I’m permanently tired. If I do have a night where I sleep well, it’s because I took a sleeping tablet. I don’t do it often because they can be addictive and I don’t need any other issues. I know it’s not sleep. It’s chemical but desperate times and all that. I …
Continue reading “Sleep and Anxiety”
I am very anxious. NPHET have basically given the Irish government a free pass to end all Coronavirus restrictions here in Ireland. While I freely acknowledge that we cannot and should not live under restrictions for any longer than is necessary, it has just been announced that the Cabinet have given the go ahead to …
Continue reading “My Coronavirus diary 16”
A lot has changed since my last post. I am now free having resigned from my job. Actually resigning caused me huge anxiety. It took me a long time first to compose and then to send the email. I hadn’t expected to have that reaction. Several months ago, I would have resigned in a heartbeat …
Continue reading “Freedom. Rejection and nightmares”
This is how I feel. I guess its better than feeling trapped which I was feeling but its still not a good feeling. I need to get unstuck so I can move forward. I’m still following my employers timeline. I need that chapter to be closed to allow me to move on. I haven’t the …
I have always been a worrier. If worrying was an Olympic event, I would win every single medal. Mr Worry was also my favourite book in the Little Misses and the Mr Men series, obviously because I identifed with the character! I have just spent the last four days worrying about something that won’t happen. …
Continue reading “A world of worry”
I am not good at this. If I’ve invested myself in something whether it is a job or a relationship, I really really struggle to let go and move on. The logical part of me knows that staying in my toxic workplace is not an option. It has trashed my confidence and mental health. I …
Continue reading “Letting go…”
I’m struggling. My anxiety is through the roof. My sleep is disturbed. I just want to withdraw from the world. I know that I need to take action to resolve my work situation but I just can’t face it. I had a difficult conversation with my family at the weekend. Don’t get me wrong, they …
Continue reading “Overwhelmed”
I had an epiphany in the shower this morning. (This is where I do my best thinking.) I realised that my tormentor has been living inside my head ‘rent free’ zapping my confidence for years. I say tormentor but I now think of her as a dementor, who not only sucks the joy from life …
Continue reading “‘Rent free’…no more!”
I’m feeling quite stuck in my anxiety and my situation. I know that there is action I need to take and some loose ends that need tied up and I will get there. I’m not strong enough to face it just yet. (Truth be told, the thought of it makes me feel physically sick.) I’m …
Continue reading “Little victories”
I find myself single again. Last week, my now ex boyfriend told me that continuing our relationship when he couldn’t make time to spend with me wasn’t fair on me. I did not see this coming. I figured that once his work schedule change, things would get better. A week on, we are now engaged …
Continue reading “Relationship woes”
I’m really struggling at the moment. I’m recovering from yet another chest infection, back at work so dealing with a repetition of the work issues that plagued me over the last year or so and I’ve also recently discovered that my vitamin D levels are low. This has no doubt contributed to my recent chest …
Continue reading “Vitamin D, depression and me”
Recently, I’ve come to realise that there are events in my life that I haven’t grieved or am grieving but haven’t realised. (Grieving my childlessness) It’s made me realise that actually, I’m not good at grief. Grief is something that we will sadly all experience but nobody teaches us how to do it. It’s one …
Continue reading “Grief and loss”
I’m by no means an expert gardener, quite the opposite but I’m learning. I live in rented accommodation so while I have outside space, I’m keeping my garden portable! I started buying plants and pots to put them in when I was off work last year. I started with the herbs thyme and rosemary, two …
Continue reading “The not so reluctant gardener”
There’s nothing I can put my finger on specifically. I just feel a bit bleurgh. I don’t think my mental health is declining again – I’m still taking my medication. I feel really tired. I feel a bit fed up and a bit blue. I’m totally lacking inspiration. I want to get into making greetings …
Continue reading “Feeling a little blue”
