Random ruminations of a sassy Scot
My thoughts on life, love, the world, my ambitions, hopes and dreams
I hope this post finds you all well. I’m following the guidelines on social distancing, working from home and only going out for essentials – food and my prescription medication. In a lot of ways, I feel that extended sick leave last year has prepared me to stay at home. Back then, home was my …
Continue reading “My Coronavirus diary”
I’ll be honest. I’m not really sure what I’m feeling. 2020 has been a strange year so far. I didn’t anticipate my relationship ending or finding out that my Vitamin D levels are low. While those events were unexpected, I certainly had no idea how much life would change as a result of the Coronavirus …
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I find myself single again. Last week, my now ex boyfriend told me that continuing our relationship when he couldn’t make time to spend with me wasn’t fair on me. I did not see this coming. I figured that once his work schedule change, things would get better. A week on, we are now engaged …
Continue reading “Relationship woes”
I’m really struggling at the moment. I’m recovering from yet another chest infection, back at work so dealing with a repetition of the work issues that plagued me over the last year or so and I’ve also recently discovered that my vitamin D levels are low. This has no doubt contributed to my recent chest …
Continue reading “Vitamin D, depression and me”
Recently, I’ve come to realise that there are events in my life that I haven’t grieved or am grieving but haven’t realised. (Grieving my childlessness) It’s made me realise that actually, I’m not good at grief. Grief is something that we will sadly all experience but nobody teaches us how to do it. It’s one …
Continue reading “Grief and loss”
Since being out sick unpaid last year, it’s taking me a while to get back on track financially. Don’t get me wrong, the feeling of relief on pay day knowing that I can pay my bills is huge. It’s early days and I’ve definitely overspent this month but the bills are paid. There’s food in …
Continue reading “Money matters”
I think I’ve figured out one of the keys to my mental health struggles and my recent recurrence of anxiety. I’m terrified that I won’t be able to have a baby. I have absolutely no evidence as to my fertility or lack of. I’ve never tried to conceive and have always used contraception in my …
Continue reading “Grieving my childlessness”
I’m starting to wonder if my anxiety attack last Sunday was a sign that all isn’t 100% okay with my mental health. It’s okay if it’s not. I’d rather pick up on it early but it has left me feeling unsettled and uneasy. There’s a couple of factor’s that are playing a part and making …
Continue reading “Am I really okay?”
Today has seen the unwelcome return of anxiety. It started with a feeling of unease that I couldn’t quite identify the cause and spiraled from there. Actually, thinking about it a bit more, it started last night when I was feeling a bit insecure. I hate having anxiety. Not the low level anxiety, that I …
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I’m by no means an expert gardener, quite the opposite but I’m learning. I live in rented accommodation so while I have outside space, I’m keeping my garden portable! I started buying plants and pots to put them in when I was off work last year. I started with the herbs thyme and rosemary, two …
Continue reading “The not so reluctant gardener”
There’s nothing I can put my finger on specifically. I just feel a bit bleurgh. I don’t think my mental health is declining again – I’m still taking my medication. I feel really tired. I feel a bit fed up and a bit blue. I’m totally lacking inspiration. I want to get into making greetings …
Continue reading “Feeling a little blue”
My ex partner suffered with depresion. It was hard. I found I took on everything. I got so frustrated. I ceased to feel like a girlfriend/ partner and more like a carer. I know this makes me sound like a bitch but it really took its toll on my own mental health. It also eventually …
Continue reading “Depression, my ex and me”
I’ve always joked that I change my hair if my relationship status changes. That bit is true…I chopped off my long hair when I split from my ex. It felt like a weight had been lifted in more ways than one! I’d previously gone back to (a dyed version of) my natural hair colour. (God …
Continue reading “New hair….don’t care”
Perhaps it is the time of year but I’m feeling quite nostalgic. Thinking about childhood memories from years ago, one in particular, my Granny’s sherry trifle. On New Year’s Day, we always used to go to my paternal Granny’s for dinner. The menu was always the same: homemade soup, steak pie with potatoes and peas …
So with a majority government, the Conservative MP’s on December 20th 2019, voted in favour of Britain leaving the European Union. Brexit will happen on 31st January 2020. I know nothing will obviously change but it feels huge. I live in Ireland so don’t vote in the UK but my family and friends live there. …
