Category archives: Mental health

Insomnia

My sleep has been crap for months despite being on medication. I wake several times during the night and struggle to get back to sleep. My mind is going ninety – mainly about work. Recently this has progressed to being unable to sleep at all. Tonight/ this morning is one of these nights. At 5:20am, …

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Anxiety 2020 – an update

My anxiety comes and goes but when it’s here, it is bad. Today, it is very much making it’s presence felt. I know why I’m feeling anxious, but it doesn’t make it easier. The sick feeling in my stomach and constant feeling of impending doom. My mood is also very low today. I have low …

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My experience of workplace bullying

After the report into bullying allegations against Priti Patel being delayed/ buried for months and the revelations this evening that her bullying behaviour was “unintentional” and so she likely won’t face any consequences, I feel compelled to share my feelings and experience. I am incandescent with rage. She knew exactly what she was doing and …

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Overwhelmed

I’m struggling. My anxiety is through the roof. My sleep is disturbed. I just want to withdraw from the world. I know that I need to take action to resolve my work situation but I just can’t face it. I had a difficult conversation with my family at the weekend. Don’t get me wrong, they …

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My Coronavirus diary 8

We went to level 3 restrictions here on Wednesday. I wish I was optimistic that it will reduce the prevalence of Coronavirus cases but I’m not. I can see us heading for another total lockdown. To be fair, I think it will be the wake up call that we need. I have spent all week …

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‘Rent free’…no more!

I had an epiphany in the shower this morning. (This is where I do my best thinking.) I realised that my tormentor has been living inside my head ‘rent free’ zapping my confidence for years. I say tormentor but I now think of her as a dementor, who not only sucks the joy from life …

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Little victories

I’m feeling quite stuck in my anxiety and my situation. I know that there is action I need to take and some loose ends that need tied up and I will get there. I’m not strong enough to face it just yet. (Truth be told, the thought of it makes me feel physically sick.) I’m …

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My Coronavirus Diary 7

It’s late August 2020. The weather has definitely turned cooler recently and we’ve just had Storm Ellen. The first of many no doubt. Coronavirus is still very much with us. Numbers of cases over the past few weeks have increased alarmingly. This day last week there were 200 new cases. The highest since May! I …

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My Coronavirus diary 6

I’m not quite sure where to start. My anxiety is strong right now for lots of reasons, Coronavirus included. I am relieved that we did not enter phase 4 of the reopening today as planned. The increase in the number of cases being reported daily is worrying. Not huge numbers, but when it crept back …

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Feeling a little lost

I’m just not feeling it right now. Truth be told, I haven’t been feeling it for quite a while. I am missing my sass. It is nowhere to be found. Today I put on some make up, thinking that if I looked more like me than I might feel more like me. Funnily enough, it …

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Feeling a little lost

I’m just not feeling it right now. Truth be told, I haven’t been feeling it for quite a while. I am missing my sass. It is nowhere to be found. Today I put on some make up, thinking that if I looked more like me than I might feel more like me. Funnily enough, it …

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Anxiety 2020 – Part 2

I’ve had a set back and I’m struggling. I desperately don’t want to go back to the very dark place I found myself in last year. I feel like I’m teetering on the edge though. I’m recovering from a (stress induced) migraine. Even though I felt awful, I had a very obvious feeling of relief …

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Anxiety 2020

Hello anxiety my old friend…we meet again. It’s been a tough week and I’ve found myself feeling triggered and anxious. It’s been a while since I last felt this way and I’m not relishing feeling this way at the moment. It started on Monday with a Skype call. I say call, it was more of …

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My Coronavirus diary 4

It’s late May 2020, the world is still confused. Coronavirus is still in control. Lockdown restrictions are starting to lift but life is still far from normal. I honestly can’t see life going back to what used to be normal. Life is very much on hold. I’m no longer feeling as frustrated, now it’s more …

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Frustration

I can feel my stress levels rising. I’ve been feeling incredibly frustrated all day. I’m frustrated with Covid-19. I’m frustrated with work. I’m frustrated at how restricted my life is right now. I’m as frustrated as hell at people who do not maintain the 2 metres social distancing. One day I am going to lose …

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