Random ruminations of a sassy Scot
My thoughts on life, love, the world, my ambitions, hopes and dreams
My sleep is terrible. I’m permanently tired. If I do have a night where I sleep well, it’s because I took a sleeping tablet. I don’t do it often because they can be addictive and I don’t need any other issues. I know it’s not sleep. It’s chemical but desperate times and all that. I …
Continue reading “Sleep and Anxiety”
A lot has changed since my last post. I am now free having resigned from my job. Actually resigning caused me huge anxiety. It took me a long time first to compose and then to send the email. I hadn’t expected to have that reaction. Several months ago, I would have resigned in a heartbeat …
Continue reading “Freedom. Rejection and nightmares”
My sleep has been crap for months despite being on medication. I wake several times during the night and struggle to get back to sleep. My mind is going ninety – mainly about work. Recently this has progressed to being unable to sleep at all. Tonight/ this morning is one of these nights. At 5:20am, …
My anxiety comes and goes but when it’s here, it is bad. Today, it is very much making it’s presence felt. I know why I’m feeling anxious, but it doesn’t make it easier. The sick feeling in my stomach and constant feeling of impending doom. My mood is also very low today. I have low …
Continue reading “Anxiety 2020 – an update”
I’m struggling. My anxiety is through the roof. My sleep is disturbed. I just want to withdraw from the world. I know that I need to take action to resolve my work situation but I just can’t face it. I had a difficult conversation with my family at the weekend. Don’t get me wrong, they …
Continue reading “Overwhelmed”
We went to level 3 restrictions here on Wednesday. I wish I was optimistic that it will reduce the prevalence of Coronavirus cases but I’m not. I can see us heading for another total lockdown. To be fair, I think it will be the wake up call that we need. I have spent all week …
Continue reading “My Coronavirus diary 8”
I’m feeling quite stuck in my anxiety and my situation. I know that there is action I need to take and some loose ends that need tied up and I will get there. I’m not strong enough to face it just yet. (Truth be told, the thought of it makes me feel physically sick.) I’m …
Continue reading “Little victories”
I’m just not feeling it right now. Truth be told, I haven’t been feeling it for quite a while. I am missing my sass. It is nowhere to be found. Today I put on some make up, thinking that if I looked more like me than I might feel more like me. Funnily enough, it …
Continue reading “Feeling a little lost”
I’m just not feeling it right now. Truth be told, I haven’t been feeling it for quite a while. I am missing my sass. It is nowhere to be found. Today I put on some make up, thinking that if I looked more like me than I might feel more like me. Funnily enough, it …
Continue reading “Feeling a little lost”
I can feel my stress levels rising. I’ve been feeling incredibly frustrated all day. I’m frustrated with Covid-19. I’m frustrated with work. I’m frustrated at how restricted my life is right now. I’m as frustrated as hell at people who do not maintain the 2 metres social distancing. One day I am going to lose …
Continue reading “Frustration”
Today hasn’t been the best day. Last night, I had horrible nightmares of being chased, looking for something and not finding it and just a sense of dread/ fear. This resulted in my sleeping in and then struggling to be productive whilst working from home. The soundtrack of a power washer all day really didn’t …
Continue reading “My Coronavirus diary 2”
I’m starting to wonder if my anxiety attack last Sunday was a sign that all isn’t 100% okay with my mental health. It’s okay if it’s not. I’d rather pick up on it early but it has left me feeling unsettled and uneasy. There’s a couple of factor’s that are playing a part and making …
Continue reading “Am I really okay?”
While it is true to say that I am feeling much more like myself than I have in a long time….something that my Mum commented on having noticed. These past few days, or more specifically nights, my anxiety has reared its ugly head. I’ve always had fairly crazy dreams and have definitely woken up shaking …
Continue reading “This too shall pass….hopefully”
As I’ve been at home more recently, I’ve spent a lot more time with my cat. He’s always been like my shadow but even more so now. He was a stray so its taken him some time to adapt to having a human and live with a human. He’s always been friendly, he’d come to …
Continue reading “Be more cat”
This is what I’ve been doing today. Its been a bit of a rollercoaster week, my emotions have been on quite a ride seeing good days and tough days. Today is a tough day but there we go. Today has involved washing my bed sheets. I love that feeling of getting into bed when there’s …
Continue reading “Self-care Saturday”
