Random ruminations of a sassy Scot
My thoughts on life, love, the world, my ambitions, hopes and dreams
I don’t know what I want. Actually, that’s not strictly true. I do know what I want – what I can’t have. I want to be in a stable and secure relationship. I’d love to be married. My current status is complicated. I’m in a casual thing with a man that I am head over …
Continue reading “Insecurity & Anxiety”
I’m finding myself struggling increasingly with patience. Not with other people but with myself. I’m still jobhunting. I’m applying and getting some interviews but I just can’t convert it to a job offer. I know that I’m trying my best and doing what I can. Where I’m struggling is accepting that while I have done …
Continue reading “Patience is a virtue…”
I had an epiphany in the shower this morning. (This is where I do my best thinking.) I realised that my tormentor has been living inside my head ‘rent free’ zapping my confidence for years. I say tormentor but I now think of her as a dementor, who not only sucks the joy from life …
Continue reading “‘Rent free’…no more!”
I’m feeling quite stuck in my anxiety and my situation. I know that there is action I need to take and some loose ends that need tied up and I will get there. I’m not strong enough to face it just yet. (Truth be told, the thought of it makes me feel physically sick.) I’m …
Continue reading “Little victories”
What a difference a day makes. I’ve flipped my attitude on its head and am ready to get back on the horse. I’m going back to work and I’m going to succeed. I had a really good chat with my GP and they gave me some brilliant tips. Which I’ll share with you now. The …
Continue reading “Wonder Woman is back”
One of my very close friends had her 40th birthday this week and we celebrated with a party. I very nearly didn’t go. I was so anxious about travelling on my own. My friend and I met on the very first day of the first week of term in our first year at University. We’ve …
Continue reading “Rediscovering my sassy self”
So my anxiety has sucker punched me in the gut today….its been a while. I know it will pass, so to distract myself I’m going to think about all the positive things in my life. Here goes: 1. My family. My family are the best. They know me better than I know myself and ALWAYS …
Continue reading “Reasons to be cheerful/ grateful/ positive”
I’m starting to think that I’ve been settling. I’ve been off work for several months now, I’ve always said that I love my job and I don’t want to leave. I was asked how I feel about having been off and my honest reply was that I miss the people but not the work. I’ve …
Continue reading “What DO I want to be when I grow up?”
I am not perfect. I make mistakes. Sometimes I speak without thinking. Sometimes what I say comes out wrong. Sometimes I say the wrong thing. Some days I feel like I can take on the world, other days getting out of bed is a challenge. I try my best. I’m still learning. My mental health …
Continue reading “A work in progress”
Today has been a bad day. Nothing particularly bad has happened, I’m just tired of feeling like I’m living on my nerves all the time. I’m tired of feeling jittery and jumping at every notification that my phone sounds. Tired of jumping at every noise the wind makes. Tired of feeling overwhelmed. I know it …
Continue reading “Tired of feeling anxious”
I’ve felt a bit off today, a bit stressed and anxious but nothing I can really put my finger on. My sleep hasn’t been great for a few weeks which doesn’t help, but then I’ve never been a great sleeper anyway. The milk was sour this morning but it is summer so it happens and …
Continue reading “Trying to think positively”
