Random ruminations of a sassy Scot
My thoughts on life, love, the world, my ambitions, hopes and dreams
I’m not quite sure where I’m going with this or what I’m trying to say, but here goes. I’m feeling anxious (nothing new there) and I’m trying to figure out what is going on. I’ve been offered a job and am waiting on approval of references. I’m delighted and nervous. I want to do my …
Continue reading “Fear of the unknown”
I’m still confused about the situation with my ex. I’m sad that he’s not going to be part of my future in a romantic sense. One thing I do know is that I want to be a Mum. That’s not going to happen with my ex so I have to start focussing on me, what …
Continue reading “Operation future”
It’s been a while since I’ve been the person in a relationship who was the one who wanted to continue the relationship. I have to say, it hurts like hell. Rejection always does. I’m finding this really difficult. It’s so different from my last relationship break up. I ended that relationship, I’d given all I …
Continue reading “My emotional rollercoaster”
There are some things that I just don’t understand and never will. The main one is how two people who love each other, get on well, have chemistry, enjoy talking to each other, spending time together and have a lot in common cannot continue in a relationship. My now ex and I were talking earlier, …
Continue reading “Feelings are tricky things”
I’ll be honest. I’m not really sure what I’m feeling. 2020 has been a strange year so far. I didn’t anticipate my relationship ending or finding out that my Vitamin D levels are low. While those events were unexpected, I certainly had no idea how much life would change as a result of the Coronavirus …
Continue reading “Coronavirus”
I find myself single again. Last week, my now ex boyfriend told me that continuing our relationship when he couldn’t make time to spend with me wasn’t fair on me. I did not see this coming. I figured that once his work schedule change, things would get better. A week on, we are now engaged …
Continue reading “Relationship woes”
Recently, I’ve come to realise that there are events in my life that I haven’t grieved or am grieving but haven’t realised. (Grieving my childlessness) It’s made me realise that actually, I’m not good at grief. Grief is something that we will sadly all experience but nobody teaches us how to do it. It’s one …
Continue reading “Grief and loss”
There’s nothing I can put my finger on specifically. I just feel a bit bleurgh. I don’t think my mental health is declining again – I’m still taking my medication. I feel really tired. I feel a bit fed up and a bit blue. I’m totally lacking inspiration. I want to get into making greetings …
Continue reading “Feeling a little blue”
My ex partner suffered with depresion. It was hard. I found I took on everything. I got so frustrated. I ceased to feel like a girlfriend/ partner and more like a carer. I know this makes me sound like a bitch but it really took its toll on my own mental health. It also eventually …
Continue reading “Depression, my ex and me”
I’ve always joked that I change my hair if my relationship status changes. That bit is true…I chopped off my long hair when I split from my ex. It felt like a weight had been lifted in more ways than one! I’d previously gone back to (a dyed version of) my natural hair colour. (God …
Continue reading “New hair….don’t care”
I’ve never been a big fan of New Year, it’s always felt like a let down – this may or may not have something to do with an ex boyfriend ending our relationship a few hours before midnight but that’s another story. January has never been my favourite month either. It feels quite bleak and …
I know it is only November. I know that Thanksgiving is yet to happen, but I’m feeling Christmassy. I love the twinkling fairy lights, glitter, sparkle and general loveliness. I love hearing Christmas songs in the shops and seeing all the gorgeous decorations. At a time when there is so much that is bleak and …
Continue reading “Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas”
Today, I finally sat down and composed my grievance document for work. It has made me feel sick with anxiety and taken me back to a very stressful and unhappy time. I’ve been avoiding it. I’ve attempted it several times and parked it as my anxiety levels went through the roof. In all honesty, I …
So my anxiety has sucker punched me in the gut today….its been a while. I know it will pass, so to distract myself I’m going to think about all the positive things in my life. Here goes: 1. My family. My family are the best. They know me better than I know myself and ALWAYS …
Continue reading “Reasons to be cheerful/ grateful/ positive”
Love. Just four letters but together they make a word that is massively important. Love is amazing and life changing. Love makes you smile, makes your heart sing and makes you feel like you are walking on air. You don’t get to my age without having experienced the highs of first love and the lows …
Continue reading “Love is all you need”
