Random ruminations of a sassy Scot
My thoughts on life, love, the world, my ambitions, hopes and dreams
My sleep is terrible. I’m permanently tired. If I do have a night where I sleep well, it’s because I took a sleeping tablet. I don’t do it often because they can be addictive and I don’t need any other issues. I know it’s not sleep. It’s chemical but desperate times and all that. I …
Continue reading “Sleep and Anxiety”
A lot has changed since my last post. I am now free having resigned from my job. Actually resigning caused me huge anxiety. It took me a long time first to compose and then to send the email. I hadn’t expected to have that reaction. Several months ago, I would have resigned in a heartbeat …
Continue reading “Freedom. Rejection and nightmares”
We went to level 3 restrictions here on Wednesday. I wish I was optimistic that it will reduce the prevalence of Coronavirus cases but I’m not. I can see us heading for another total lockdown. To be fair, I think it will be the wake up call that we need. I have spent all week …
Continue reading “My Coronavirus diary 8”
I’m just not feeling it right now. Truth be told, I haven’t been feeling it for quite a while. I am missing my sass. It is nowhere to be found. Today I put on some make up, thinking that if I looked more like me than I might feel more like me. Funnily enough, it …
Continue reading “Feeling a little lost”
I’m just not feeling it right now. Truth be told, I haven’t been feeling it for quite a while. I am missing my sass. It is nowhere to be found. Today I put on some make up, thinking that if I looked more like me than I might feel more like me. Funnily enough, it …
Continue reading “Feeling a little lost”
I can feel my stress levels rising. I’ve been feeling incredibly frustrated all day. I’m frustrated with Covid-19. I’m frustrated with work. I’m frustrated at how restricted my life is right now. I’m as frustrated as hell at people who do not maintain the 2 metres social distancing. One day I am going to lose …
Continue reading “Frustration”
Today hasn’t been the best day. Last night, I had horrible nightmares of being chased, looking for something and not finding it and just a sense of dread/ fear. This resulted in my sleeping in and then struggling to be productive whilst working from home. The soundtrack of a power washer all day really didn’t …
Continue reading “My Coronavirus diary 2”
I find myself single again. Last week, my now ex boyfriend told me that continuing our relationship when he couldn’t make time to spend with me wasn’t fair on me. I did not see this coming. I figured that once his work schedule change, things would get better. A week on, we are now engaged …
Continue reading “Relationship woes”
Since being out sick unpaid last year, it’s taking me a while to get back on track financially. Don’t get me wrong, the feeling of relief on pay day knowing that I can pay my bills is huge. It’s early days and I’ve definitely overspent this month but the bills are paid. There’s food in …
Continue reading “Money matters”
I’m starting to wonder if my anxiety attack last Sunday was a sign that all isn’t 100% okay with my mental health. It’s okay if it’s not. I’d rather pick up on it early but it has left me feeling unsettled and uneasy. There’s a couple of factor’s that are playing a part and making …
Continue reading “Am I really okay?”
There’s nothing I can put my finger on specifically. I just feel a bit bleurgh. I don’t think my mental health is declining again – I’m still taking my medication. I feel really tired. I feel a bit fed up and a bit blue. I’m totally lacking inspiration. I want to get into making greetings …
Continue reading “Feeling a little blue”
I’m starting to think that I’ve been settling. I’ve been off work for several months now, I’ve always said that I love my job and I don’t want to leave. I was asked how I feel about having been off and my honest reply was that I miss the people but not the work. I’ve …
Continue reading “What DO I want to be when I grow up?”
