Random ruminations of a sassy Scot
My thoughts on life, love, the world, my ambitions, hopes and dreams
I’ve been off sick with stress, anxiety and depression following on from a sinus infection and how it impacted my asthma since May. I’m feeling a lot better, more like me again. I’m still not there yet but I’m a hell of a lot better than I was even this time last year. The thing …
Continue reading “Leaving my bubble”
I know it is only November. I know that Thanksgiving is yet to happen, but I’m feeling Christmassy. I love the twinkling fairy lights, glitter, sparkle and general loveliness. I love hearing Christmas songs in the shops and seeing all the gorgeous decorations. At a time when there is so much that is bleak and …
Continue reading “Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas”
So I decided to transfer my blog from my wordpress.com site to my own website. I want to expand my horizons and make more of my blog…ideally earn some money from it. I’ve got a lot to learn!! I started off the way I always do when I want to find something out….I Googled it. …
Continue reading “Technology is not my strong point!”
One of my very close friends had her 40th birthday this week and we celebrated with a party. I very nearly didn’t go. I was so anxious about travelling on my own. My friend and I met on the very first day of the first week of term in our first year at University. We’ve …
Continue reading “Rediscovering my sassy self”
I’ve called this my bucket list but I could just as easily have named it my list of life goals. Either way, here and in no particular order, is my list: 1. Have a baby 2. Get married 3. Go back to New York 4. Learn Italian 5. Own my own home 6. Write a …
Continue reading “My bucket list”
Its 11:20pm. I’m wide awake. I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep. I have a pain behind my right eye that I’m hoping won’t develop into a migraine. I’m battling with a dilemma. I don’t know what to do. I have a 40th birthday party to attend next week. I’ve booked and paid for my hotel …
Continue reading “Financial woes”
It strikes me more and more that governments worldwide but particularly in the UK and Ireland are more interested in the needs of the few than the many. Budget after budget sees tax breaks for big business and more taxes on the already squeezed middle. The Conservative policy of austerity has seen public services savaged …
Continue reading “Another political post”
I’m feeling sick and anxious today. The sun shone and it was my favourite kind of autumnal day. Crisp, clear and chilly. I wore a cosy jumper and boots. (My favourite items to wear.) I bought myself a new cosy jumper in Penneys. I had the most delicious creamy mushroom soup for lunch but still …
Continue reading “Anxiety returns”
I’ve always loved fireworks. I remember as a child getting wrapped up in my scarf, coat, hat and gloves and going down to the beach to watch the fireworks display for Bonfire Night. I loved all the different colours and patterns against the dark night sky. I also loved the smell and heat from the …
This morning: My stomach is churning. My anxiety is off the charts. I feel sick. My mouth is dry. Today is the day I have my work meeting. I don’t want to go. I want to disappear. I want to run away. This afternoon: I summoned up all my courage and kept my boyfriend’s encouragement …
Continue reading “Anxiety to relief”
As a person, I’ve always very much been an observer. I’m happier behind the scenes rather than in the spotlight. When it comes to making decisions, I’m very much someone who likes to have all of the information to take my time and make an informed decision. I’m a listener rather than a talker, definitely …
Continue reading “It’s good to talk”
As a part of the process to get to the route cause of my recent high blood pressure, I’ve been having different tests and scans. Blood tests are always a challenge, especially if I’ve had to fast first. My veins just disappear into my body and I end up looking like a bruised pincushion! Of …
Continue reading “Heart of the matter”
Today, I finally sat down and composed my grievance document for work. It has made me feel sick with anxiety and taken me back to a very stressful and unhappy time. I’ve been avoiding it. I’ve attempted it several times and parked it as my anxiety levels went through the roof. In all honesty, I …
I decided that today will be the day that I take action to try to resolve my work issue. What I didn’t realise was all the anxiety that it would stir up and all the insecurities it would bring flooding back. I have to laugh at the irony of my timing…only I could chose such …
Continue reading “World Mental Health Day”
So my anxiety has sucker punched me in the gut today….its been a while. I know it will pass, so to distract myself I’m going to think about all the positive things in my life. Here goes: 1. My family. My family are the best. They know me better than I know myself and ALWAYS …
Continue reading “Reasons to be cheerful/ grateful/ positive”
