My thoughts on life, love, the world, my ambitions, hopes and dreams
I am not good at this. If I've invested myself in something whether it is a job or a relationship, I really really struggle to let go and move on. The logical part of me knows that staying in my toxic workplace is not an option. It has trashed my confidence and mental health. I …
Continue reading "Letting go…"
I've been very bad at blogging this year. At the beginning of the year I was pushing myself to apply for jobs and working through all of the triggers that reared their heads as I went along. Since then, I've been working hard. Getting to know my colleagues and team mates, learning the ropes in …
Continue reading "The year I fought back"
I don't know what I want. Actually, that's not strictly true. I do know what I want - what I can't have. I want to be in a stable and secure relationship. I'd love to be married. My current status is complicated. I'm in a casual thing with a man that I am head over …
Continue reading "Insecurity & Anxiety"
I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this or what I’m trying to say, but here goes. I'm feeling anxious (nothing new there) and I'm trying to figure out what is going on. I've been offered a job and am waiting on approval of references. I'm delighted and nervous. I want to do my …
Continue reading "Fear of the unknown"
I'm finding myself struggling increasingly with patience. Not with other people but with myself. I'm still jobhunting. I'm applying and getting some interviews but I just can't convert it to a job offer. I know that I'm trying my best and doing what I can. Where I'm struggling is accepting that while I have done …
Continue reading "Patience is a virtue…"
NPHET (National Public Health Emergency Team) have recommended that masks are no longer required in schools, retail, hospitality and on public transport. They will still be required in health care settings. The government have accepted this recommendation and it is likely to come into effect on February 28th 2022. I am not yet ready to …
Continue reading "My Coronavirus Diary 17"
I am genuinely shocked at what I have just read https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/education/exam-fees-for-the-leaving-cert-and-junior-cert-are-set-to-be-waived-this-year-41308131.html How on earth can any government justify charging secondary school pupils to sit exams. They need these qualifications to be able to access college, university and the world of work. I know that nothing is ever free, but is paid for through taxation so …
Continue reading "Education: Not free here"
My sleep is terrible. I'm permanently tired. If I do have a night where I sleep well, it's because I took a sleeping tablet. I don't do it often because they can be addictive and I don't need any other issues. I know it's not sleep. It's chemical but desperate times and all that. I …
Continue reading "Sleep and Anxiety"
I am very anxious. NPHET have basically given the Irish government a free pass to end all Coronavirus restrictions here in Ireland. While I freely acknowledge that we cannot and should not live under restrictions for any longer than is necessary, it has just been announced that the Cabinet have given the go ahead to …
Continue reading "My Coronavirus diary 16"
I had no idea back in March 2020 when Coronavirus first came to Ireland that 21 months later, it would still be here, still evolving and still dominating everyone's lives. This is my second Christmas away from my family. I found last year very hard. I was very emotional and really felt alone. That was …
Continue reading "My Coronavirus Diary 15"
A lot has changed since my last post. I am now free having resigned from my job. Actually resigning caused me huge anxiety. It took me a long time first to compose and then to send the email. I hadn't expected to have that reaction. Several months ago, I would have resigned in a heartbeat …
Continue reading "Freedom. Rejection and nightmares"
This is how I feel. I guess its better than feeling trapped which I was feeling but its still not a good feeling. I need to get unstuck so I can move forward. I'm still following my employers timeline. I need that chapter to be closed to allow me to move on. I haven't the …
I'm facing a dilemma. Occupational Health are of the opinion that I am fit to return to work. I however, am not willing to return to the toxic situation that is my workplace nor the bullying manager that caused my anxiety. This is the reality that I am facing. I'm being pressured to go back …
Today is a good day. I finally feel that there is hope. I have had my first Covid vaccination. I know that I still need to be careful. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable not wearing my mask, using hand sanitiser, washing my hands and keeping my 2 metre social distance. I also know that …
Continue reading "My Coronavirus diary 14"
I know at 41, I am officially a grown up but in career terms, I'm only 20. Long gone are the days when you finish school, college or university and you work in the same job until you retire at 65. As it stands, I won't receive my state pension until I'm 68 but that …
Continue reading "What DO I want to be when I grow up? Part 2."
Its April 2021, we are still in level 5. Construction has restarted and all children are back in school. I feel that this is really positive, the government (who are making a total balls of their handling of the pandemic) have consistently failed and ignored Ireland's children were right to prioritise school reopening above all …
Continue reading "My Coronavirus diary 13"
