Random ruminations of a sassy Scot
My thoughts on life, love, the world, my ambitions, hopes and dreams
I’ve been off sick with stress, anxiety and depression following on from a sinus infection and how it impacted my asthma since May. I’m feeling a lot better, more like me again. I’m still not there yet but I’m a hell of a lot better than I was even this time last year. The thing …
Continue reading “Leaving my bubble”
Its 11:20pm. I’m wide awake. I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep. I have a pain behind my right eye that I’m hoping won’t develop into a migraine. I’m battling with a dilemma. I don’t know what to do. I have a 40th birthday party to attend next week. I’ve booked and paid for my hotel …
Continue reading “Financial woes”
I’m feeling sick and anxious today. The sun shone and it was my favourite kind of autumnal day. Crisp, clear and chilly. I wore a cosy jumper and boots. (My favourite items to wear.) I bought myself a new cosy jumper in Penneys. I had the most delicious creamy mushroom soup for lunch but still …
Continue reading “Anxiety returns”
This morning: My stomach is churning. My anxiety is off the charts. I feel sick. My mouth is dry. Today is the day I have my work meeting. I don’t want to go. I want to disappear. I want to run away. This afternoon: I summoned up all my courage and kept my boyfriend’s encouragement …
Continue reading “Anxiety to relief”
As a person, I’ve always very much been an observer. I’m happier behind the scenes rather than in the spotlight. When it comes to making decisions, I’m very much someone who likes to have all of the information to take my time and make an informed decision. I’m a listener rather than a talker, definitely …
Continue reading “It’s good to talk”
Today, I finally sat down and composed my grievance document for work. It has made me feel sick with anxiety and taken me back to a very stressful and unhappy time. I’ve been avoiding it. I’ve attempted it several times and parked it as my anxiety levels went through the roof. In all honesty, I …
I decided that today will be the day that I take action to try to resolve my work issue. What I didn’t realise was all the anxiety that it would stir up and all the insecurities it would bring flooding back. I have to laugh at the irony of my timing…only I could chose such …
Continue reading “World Mental Health Day”
I’m starting to think that I’ve been settling. I’ve been off work for several months now, I’ve always said that I love my job and I don’t want to leave. I was asked how I feel about having been off and my honest reply was that I miss the people but not the work. I’ve …
Continue reading “What DO I want to be when I grow up?”
While it is true to say that I am feeling much more like myself than I have in a long time….something that my Mum commented on having noticed. These past few days, or more specifically nights, my anxiety has reared its ugly head. I’ve always had fairly crazy dreams and have definitely woken up shaking …
Continue reading “This too shall pass….hopefully”
Its been quite a journey over the last few months, not always an easy one as I’ve battled my anxiety. As I’ve previously mentioned, I’ve always been a worrier and been anxious at different times of stress, e.g. exams, waiting for results but never to the extent that it has seriously impacted my ability to …
Continue reading “Sassy 1 – 0 Anxiety”
I feel overall that I’m winning my battle with anxiety. I’m feeling more positive and more like myself. Whether that is due to medication, my self-care or a combination of both, I don’t know but whatever it is, I’m not complaining. Long may it last! There is one black cloud approaching on the horizon. Work. …
Continue reading “Decision deadline approaches…”
On International Friendship Day, this seems very appropriate. I’m lucky that I have amazing friends. I may not have a huge number but those that I have are worth their weight in gold and I wouldn’t swap that for all the money in the world. Life may have taken us in different directions and we …
The image I have in my head is of arm wrestling contest. I’m trying to win so hard, the tendons and muscles in my arm are straining with the effort but anxiety is too strong and is kicking my butt. To use a boxing analogy, today my anxiety has me on the ropes. I feel …
Continue reading “Anxiety is winning today”
Its late or early depending on which way you look at it. I’m still awake. I have a thumping headache. I can’t sleep. Blogging won’t help me sleep but at least I’m doing something productive. I’m tempted to clean the bathroom but I have good neighbours and it would be very anti-social at this hour …
I’ve noticed that this can be something I have a tendency to do. Let me explain what I mean. For the past few months I’ve been trying to lose weight, exercise more and get healthy. For the last few weeks, while I’ve been battling my anxiety, I’ve ordered a couple of takeaways and am in …
Continue reading “Self sabotage and me”
