Random ruminations of a sassy Scot
My thoughts on life, love, the world, my ambitions, hopes and dreams
I’m finding myself struggling increasingly with patience. Not with other people but with myself. I’m still jobhunting. I’m applying and getting some interviews but I just can’t convert it to a job offer. I know that I’m trying my best and doing what I can. Where I’m struggling is accepting that while I have done …
Continue reading “Patience is a virtue…”
I know at 41, I am officially a grown up but in career terms, I’m only 20. Long gone are the days when you finish school, college or university and you work in the same job until you retire at 65. As it stands, I won’t receive my state pension until I’m 68 but that …
Continue reading “What DO I want to be when I grow up? Part 2.”
I am not good at this. If I’ve invested myself in something whether it is a job or a relationship, I really really struggle to let go and move on. The logical part of me knows that staying in my toxic workplace is not an option. It has trashed my confidence and mental health. I …
Continue reading “Letting go…”
I’m feeling quite stuck in my anxiety and my situation. I know that there is action I need to take and some loose ends that need tied up and I will get there. I’m not strong enough to face it just yet. (Truth be told, the thought of it makes me feel physically sick.) I’m …
Continue reading “Little victories”
I’m still confused about the situation with my ex. I’m sad that he’s not going to be part of my future in a romantic sense. One thing I do know is that I want to be a Mum. That’s not going to happen with my ex so I have to start focussing on me, what …
Continue reading “Operation future”
I’ve previously written about the impact of my low levels of Vitamin D on my mental and physical health. (Vitamin D, depression and me) It’s several weeks now since I finished my course of high strength Vitamin D capsules. I’ve been reluctant to go back to my GP for the repeat bloods, purely due to …
Continue reading “Vitamin D, depression and me – part 2”
So my anxiety has sucker punched me in the gut today….its been a while. I know it will pass, so to distract myself I’m going to think about all the positive things in my life. Here goes: 1. My family. My family are the best. They know me better than I know myself and ALWAYS …
Continue reading “Reasons to be cheerful/ grateful/ positive”
I’m starting to think that I’ve been settling. I’ve been off work for several months now, I’ve always said that I love my job and I don’t want to leave. I was asked how I feel about having been off and my honest reply was that I miss the people but not the work. I’ve …
Continue reading “What DO I want to be when I grow up?”
Its been quite a journey over the last few months, not always an easy one as I’ve battled my anxiety. As I’ve previously mentioned, I’ve always been a worrier and been anxious at different times of stress, e.g. exams, waiting for results but never to the extent that it has seriously impacted my ability to …
Continue reading “Sassy 1 – 0 Anxiety”
I am not perfect. I make mistakes. Sometimes I speak without thinking. Sometimes what I say comes out wrong. Sometimes I say the wrong thing. Some days I feel like I can take on the world, other days getting out of bed is a challenge. I try my best. I’m still learning. My mental health …
Continue reading “A work in progress”
As I wake to news of two shootings in the USA, one in El Paso, Texas and the other in Dayton, Ohio. I think of those whose lives have been changed irrevocably. I think of the loss and the senselessness of it. Innocent people going about their lives, enjoying a night out or shopping on …
Continue reading ““Be excellent to each other””
I’m still feeling anxious but am slowly starting to win the battle…even if it is just for now. I’m focusing on living in the moment, creating a ‘to do’ list and starting with small tasks. Journaling and blogging are also helping me. It gives me somewhere to empty my head and gather my thoughts rather …
Continue reading “Better days are coming…one day at a time”
