Random ruminations of a sassy Scot
My thoughts on life, love, the world, my ambitions, hopes and dreams
So my anxiety has sucker punched me in the gut today….its been a while. I know it will pass, so to distract myself I’m going to think about all the positive things in my life. Here goes: 1. My family. My family are the best. They know me better than I know myself and ALWAYS …
Continue reading “Reasons to be cheerful/ grateful/ positive”
I’m starting to think that I’ve been settling. I’ve been off work for several months now, I’ve always said that I love my job and I don’t want to leave. I was asked how I feel about having been off and my honest reply was that I miss the people but not the work. I’ve …
Continue reading “What DO I want to be when I grow up?”
Its been quite a journey over the last few months, not always an easy one as I’ve battled my anxiety. As I’ve previously mentioned, I’ve always been a worrier and been anxious at different times of stress, e.g. exams, waiting for results but never to the extent that it has seriously impacted my ability to …
Continue reading “Sassy 1 – 0 Anxiety”
I feel overall that I’m winning my battle with anxiety. I’m feeling more positive and more like myself. Whether that is due to medication, my self-care or a combination of both, I don’t know but whatever it is, I’m not complaining. Long may it last! There is one black cloud approaching on the horizon. Work. …
Continue reading “Decision deadline approaches…”
I am not perfect. I make mistakes. Sometimes I speak without thinking. Sometimes what I say comes out wrong. Sometimes I say the wrong thing. Some days I feel like I can take on the world, other days getting out of bed is a challenge. I try my best. I’m still learning. My mental health …
Continue reading “A work in progress”
I’ve kept a diary for years, my memory isn’t great so it’s nice to have a record of my life. I also find it therapeutic. Its nice to have somewhere to note my thoughts, fears, worries, hopes and successes. I know that living in the past is not healthy. I am happy in the present …
Continue reading “Looking back to move forward”
This is what I’ve been doing today. Its been a bit of a rollercoaster week, my emotions have been on quite a ride seeing good days and tough days. Today is a tough day but there we go. Today has involved washing my bed sheets. I love that feeling of getting into bed when there’s …
Continue reading “Self-care Saturday”
Today has been a bad day. Nothing particularly bad has happened, I’m just tired of feeling like I’m living on my nerves all the time. I’m tired of feeling jittery and jumping at every notification that my phone sounds. Tired of jumping at every noise the wind makes. Tired of feeling overwhelmed. I know it …
Continue reading “Tired of feeling anxious”
The image I have in my head is of arm wrestling contest. I’m trying to win so hard, the tendons and muscles in my arm are straining with the effort but anxiety is too strong and is kicking my butt. To use a boxing analogy, today my anxiety has me on the ropes. I feel …
Continue reading “Anxiety is winning today”
Its late or early depending on which way you look at it. I’m still awake. I have a thumping headache. I can’t sleep. Blogging won’t help me sleep but at least I’m doing something productive. I’m tempted to clean the bathroom but I have good neighbours and it would be very anti-social at this hour …
I’ve noticed that this can be something I have a tendency to do. Let me explain what I mean. For the past few months I’ve been trying to lose weight, exercise more and get healthy. For the last few weeks, while I’ve been battling my anxiety, I’ve ordered a couple of takeaways and am in …
Continue reading “Self sabotage and me”
I’ve felt a bit off today, a bit stressed and anxious but nothing I can really put my finger on. My sleep hasn’t been great for a few weeks which doesn’t help, but then I’ve never been a great sleeper anyway. The milk was sour this morning but it is summer so it happens and …
Continue reading “Trying to think positively”
Today is a beautiful sunny day. Only a few white fluffy clouds in the sky. A gorgeous summer’s day. Unfortunately today, I’m just not feeling it. My heart is beating fast, I feel sick, I’m very jumpy and my hands are shaking. I know it’ll pass. Right now, anxiety is kicking my ass. I don’t …
Continue reading “Anxiety 1, Sassy 0”
I’m still feeling anxious but am slowly starting to win the battle…even if it is just for now. I’m focusing on living in the moment, creating a ‘to do’ list and starting with small tasks. Journaling and blogging are also helping me. It gives me somewhere to empty my head and gather my thoughts rather …
Continue reading “Better days are coming…one day at a time”
I’ve always been a worrier….if it was an Olympic sport; I’d win the gold, silver and bronze medals. Throughout my life I’ve been anxious about the usual things – exam results, interviews, medical test results and sometimes about work too. If I had a deadline approaching or a particularly tricky problem to solve but never …
