Random ruminations of a sassy Scot
My thoughts on life, love, the world, my ambitions, hopes and dreams
I’ve been very bad at blogging this year. At the beginning of the year I was pushing myself to apply for jobs and working through all of the triggers that reared their heads as I went along. Since then, I’ve been working hard. Getting to know my colleagues and team mates, learning the ropes in …
Continue reading “The year I fought back”
I’m not quite sure where I’m going with this or what I’m trying to say, but here goes. I’m feeling anxious (nothing new there) and I’m trying to figure out what is going on. I’ve been offered a job and am waiting on approval of references. I’m delighted and nervous. I want to do my …
Continue reading “Fear of the unknown”
A lot has changed since my last post. I am now free having resigned from my job. Actually resigning caused me huge anxiety. It took me a long time first to compose and then to send the email. I hadn’t expected to have that reaction. Several months ago, I would have resigned in a heartbeat …
Continue reading “Freedom. Rejection and nightmares”
This is how I feel. I guess its better than feeling trapped which I was feeling but its still not a good feeling. I need to get unstuck so I can move forward. I’m still following my employers timeline. I need that chapter to be closed to allow me to move on. I haven’t the …
I’m facing a dilemma. Occupational Health are of the opinion that I am fit to return to work. I however, am not willing to return to the toxic situation that is my workplace nor the bullying manager that caused my anxiety. This is the reality that I am facing. I’m being pressured to go back …
I know at 41, I am officially a grown up but in career terms, I’m only 20. Long gone are the days when you finish school, college or university and you work in the same job until you retire at 65. As it stands, I won’t receive my state pension until I’m 68 but that …
Continue reading “What DO I want to be when I grow up? Part 2.”
Its April 2021, we are still in level 5. Construction has restarted and all children are back in school. I feel that this is really positive, the government (who are making a total balls of their handling of the pandemic) have consistently failed and ignored Ireland’s children were right to prioritise school reopening above all …
Continue reading “My Coronavirus diary 13”
I have always been a worrier. If worrying was an Olympic event, I would win every single medal. Mr Worry was also my favourite book in the Little Misses and the Mr Men series, obviously because I identifed with the character! I have just spent the last four days worrying about something that won’t happen. …
Continue reading “A world of worry”
I never thought that I’d write this post. I was being naive. I have recently been informed that none of my allegations of bullying against my supervisor have been substantiated. To say I was shocked is a massive understatement. (Read My experience of workplace bullying here) It really made me question myself. I know 100 …
Continue reading “Bullying….and beyond”
I am not good at this. If I’ve invested myself in something whether it is a job or a relationship, I really really struggle to let go and move on. The logical part of me knows that staying in my toxic workplace is not an option. It has trashed my confidence and mental health. I …
Continue reading “Letting go…”
My sleep has been crap for months despite being on medication. I wake several times during the night and struggle to get back to sleep. My mind is going ninety – mainly about work. Recently this has progressed to being unable to sleep at all. Tonight/ this morning is one of these nights. At 5:20am, …
After the report into bullying allegations against Priti Patel being delayed/ buried for months and the revelations this evening that her bullying behaviour was “unintentional” and so she likely won’t face any consequences, I feel compelled to share my feelings and experience. I am incandescent with rage. She knew exactly what she was doing and …
Continue reading “My experience of workplace bullying”
I’m struggling. My anxiety is through the roof. My sleep is disturbed. I just want to withdraw from the world. I know that I need to take action to resolve my work situation but I just can’t face it. I had a difficult conversation with my family at the weekend. Don’t get me wrong, they …
Continue reading “Overwhelmed”
We’re currently 18 days into lockdown 2 here in Ireland. The difference is that this time the schools are open and when shopping we’re limited to ‘essential items’ which means that the clothes sections in supermarkets are closed off. This wasn’t true in our original lockdown. I find myself feeling hugely relieved. Had the government …
Continue reading “My Coronavirus diary 9”
We went to level 3 restrictions here on Wednesday. I wish I was optimistic that it will reduce the prevalence of Coronavirus cases but I’m not. I can see us heading for another total lockdown. To be fair, I think it will be the wake up call that we need. I have spent all week …
Continue reading “My Coronavirus diary 8”
