Random ruminations of a sassy Scot
My thoughts on life, love, the world, my ambitions, hopes and dreams
I’ve been very bad at blogging this year. At the beginning of the year I was pushing myself to apply for jobs and working through all of the triggers that reared their heads as I went along. Since then, I’ve been working hard. Getting to know my colleagues and team mates, learning the ropes in …
Continue reading “The year I fought back”
I don’t know what I want. Actually, that’s not strictly true. I do know what I want – what I can’t have. I want to be in a stable and secure relationship. I’d love to be married. My current status is complicated. I’m in a casual thing with a man that I am head over …
Continue reading “Insecurity & Anxiety”
I’m not quite sure where I’m going with this or what I’m trying to say, but here goes. I’m feeling anxious (nothing new there) and I’m trying to figure out what is going on. I’ve been offered a job and am waiting on approval of references. I’m delighted and nervous. I want to do my …
Continue reading “Fear of the unknown”
A lot has changed since my last post. I am now free having resigned from my job. Actually resigning caused me huge anxiety. It took me a long time first to compose and then to send the email. I hadn’t expected to have that reaction. Several months ago, I would have resigned in a heartbeat …
Continue reading “Freedom. Rejection and nightmares”
Hello anxiety my old friend…we meet again. It’s been a tough week and I’ve found myself feeling triggered and anxious. It’s been a while since I last felt this way and I’m not relishing feeling this way at the moment. It started on Monday with a Skype call. I say call, it was more of …
Continue reading “Anxiety 2020”
I’ve previously written about the impact of my low levels of Vitamin D on my mental and physical health. (Vitamin D, depression and me) It’s several weeks now since I finished my course of high strength Vitamin D capsules. I’ve been reluctant to go back to my GP for the repeat bloods, purely due to …
Continue reading “Vitamin D, depression and me – part 2”
What a difference a day makes. I’ve flipped my attitude on its head and am ready to get back on the horse. I’m going back to work and I’m going to succeed. I had a really good chat with my GP and they gave me some brilliant tips. Which I’ll share with you now. The …
Continue reading “Wonder Woman is back”
After being on sick leave for most of this year, I’m about to return to work. My anxiety levels are rising, despite my efforts to calm myself and distract myself. In all honesty, I feel sick to my stomach. I am dreading it. I’ve been in the same line of work pretty much since I …
Continue reading “Same shit, different day”
This morning: My stomach is churning. My anxiety is off the charts. I feel sick. My mouth is dry. Today is the day I have my work meeting. I don’t want to go. I want to disappear. I want to run away. This afternoon: I summoned up all my courage and kept my boyfriend’s encouragement …
Continue reading “Anxiety to relief”
I decided that today will be the day that I take action to try to resolve my work issue. What I didn’t realise was all the anxiety that it would stir up and all the insecurities it would bring flooding back. I have to laugh at the irony of my timing…only I could chose such …
Continue reading “World Mental Health Day”
