Random ruminations of a sassy Scot
My thoughts on life, love, the world, my ambitions, hopes and dreams
This evening, I’m comfort eating after going all day without eating. I have no appetite. I really can’t face going back to work. I’m dreading it. I know I need to go back but I need to look for something else. I can’t do this long term. I’m not 100% sure, I’ll be able to …
Continue reading “Feeling the dread”
After being on sick leave for most of this year, I’m about to return to work. My anxiety levels are rising, despite my efforts to calm myself and distract myself. In all honesty, I feel sick to my stomach. I am dreading it. I’ve been in the same line of work pretty much since I …
Continue reading “Same shit, different day”
I’ve watched documentaries on the BBC made by Nadiya Hussain (Great British Bake Off winner) about her anxiety and former adviser to Tony Blair, Alastair Campbell about the impact of his depression. It is so powerful to hear people in the public eye who are successful, talk about their mental health. Even this afternoon, as …
Continue reading “Reducing the stigma…starting with me”
What I’ve realised since being off work with stress and anxiety is that I need a creative outlet as part of my self-care. I’ve dabbled in knitting – something that I haven’t done since I was a child. I’ve taught myself how to purl and started to incorporate it into my knitting. I’m not likely …
Continue reading “Getting my craft on”
I’ve been off sick with stress, anxiety and depression following on from a sinus infection and how it impacted my asthma since May. I’m feeling a lot better, more like me again. I’m still not there yet but I’m a hell of a lot better than I was even this time last year. The thing …
Continue reading “Leaving my bubble”
One of my very close friends had her 40th birthday this week and we celebrated with a party. I very nearly didn’t go. I was so anxious about travelling on my own. My friend and I met on the very first day of the first week of term in our first year at University. We’ve …
Continue reading “Rediscovering my sassy self”
I’ve called this my bucket list but I could just as easily have named it my list of life goals. Either way, here and in no particular order, is my list: 1. Have a baby 2. Get married 3. Go back to New York 4. Learn Italian 5. Own my own home 6. Write a …
Continue reading “My bucket list”
I’m feeling sick and anxious today. The sun shone and it was my favourite kind of autumnal day. Crisp, clear and chilly. I wore a cosy jumper and boots. (My favourite items to wear.) I bought myself a new cosy jumper in Penneys. I had the most delicious creamy mushroom soup for lunch but still …
Continue reading “Anxiety returns”
This morning: My stomach is churning. My anxiety is off the charts. I feel sick. My mouth is dry. Today is the day I have my work meeting. I don’t want to go. I want to disappear. I want to run away. This afternoon: I summoned up all my courage and kept my boyfriend’s encouragement …
Continue reading “Anxiety to relief”
As a person, I’ve always very much been an observer. I’m happier behind the scenes rather than in the spotlight. When it comes to making decisions, I’m very much someone who likes to have all of the information to take my time and make an informed decision. I’m a listener rather than a talker, definitely …
Continue reading “It’s good to talk”
Today, I finally sat down and composed my grievance document for work. It has made me feel sick with anxiety and taken me back to a very stressful and unhappy time. I’ve been avoiding it. I’ve attempted it several times and parked it as my anxiety levels went through the roof. In all honesty, I …
I decided that today will be the day that I take action to try to resolve my work issue. What I didn’t realise was all the anxiety that it would stir up and all the insecurities it would bring flooding back. I have to laugh at the irony of my timing…only I could chose such …
Continue reading “World Mental Health Day”
So my anxiety has sucker punched me in the gut today….its been a while. I know it will pass, so to distract myself I’m going to think about all the positive things in my life. Here goes: 1. My family. My family are the best. They know me better than I know myself and ALWAYS …
Continue reading “Reasons to be cheerful/ grateful/ positive”
While it is true to say that I am feeling much more like myself than I have in a long time….something that my Mum commented on having noticed. These past few days, or more specifically nights, my anxiety has reared its ugly head. I’ve always had fairly crazy dreams and have definitely woken up shaking …
Continue reading “This too shall pass….hopefully”
Its been quite a journey over the last few months, not always an easy one as I’ve battled my anxiety. As I’ve previously mentioned, I’ve always been a worrier and been anxious at different times of stress, e.g. exams, waiting for results but never to the extent that it has seriously impacted my ability to …
Continue reading “Sassy 1 – 0 Anxiety”
