Random ruminations of a sassy Scot
My thoughts on life, love, the world, my ambitions, hopes and dreams
I’m not quite sure where to start. My anxiety is strong right now for lots of reasons, Coronavirus included. I am relieved that we did not enter phase 4 of the reopening today as planned. The increase in the number of cases being reported daily is worrying. Not huge numbers, but when it crept back …
Continue reading “My Coronavirus diary 6”
I’m just not feeling it right now. Truth be told, I haven’t been feeling it for quite a while. I am missing my sass. It is nowhere to be found. Today I put on some make up, thinking that if I looked more like me than I might feel more like me. Funnily enough, it …
Continue reading “Feeling a little lost”
I’m just not feeling it right now. Truth be told, I haven’t been feeling it for quite a while. I am missing my sass. It is nowhere to be found. Today I put on some make up, thinking that if I looked more like me than I might feel more like me. Funnily enough, it …
Continue reading “Feeling a little lost”
I’ve had a set back and I’m struggling. I desperately don’t want to go back to the very dark place I found myself in last year. I feel like I’m teetering on the edge though. I’m recovering from a (stress induced) migraine. Even though I felt awful, I had a very obvious feeling of relief …
Continue reading “Anxiety 2020 – Part 2”
As I write this, Ireland are about to enter Phase 2 of loosening the lockdown restrictions. The number of daily deaths is in single figures, the number of new confirmed cases per day is in double figures. All of the deaths are tragic, leaving families bereaved and funerals held privately. This is not how we …
Continue reading “My Coronavirus diary 5”
So we are now 5 months into 2020 and I can honestly say it has been unbelievably awful. Not only has Coronavirus wreaked havoc on the world aided in no small part by the incompetent leadership of Boris Johnson but now there are protests and riots in the US. My heart breaks at the horrific …
Continue reading “My thoughts on 2020”
Hello anxiety my old friend…we meet again. It’s been a tough week and I’ve found myself feeling triggered and anxious. It’s been a while since I last felt this way and I’m not relishing feeling this way at the moment. It started on Monday with a Skype call. I say call, it was more of …
Continue reading “Anxiety 2020”
It’s late May 2020, the world is still confused. Coronavirus is still in control. Lockdown restrictions are starting to lift but life is still far from normal. I honestly can’t see life going back to what used to be normal. Life is very much on hold. I’m no longer feeling as frustrated, now it’s more …
Continue reading “My Coronavirus diary 4”
I can feel my stress levels rising. I’ve been feeling incredibly frustrated all day. I’m frustrated with Covid-19. I’m frustrated with work. I’m frustrated at how restricted my life is right now. I’m as frustrated as hell at people who do not maintain the 2 metres social distancing. One day I am going to lose …
Continue reading “Frustration”
I can feel my anxiety levels rising. The date where Ireland will start to loosen the lockdown (May 18th) is approaching a little too quickly for me. I’m worried that the number of cases of Coronavirus will rise again. It feels like there are already more cars on the road. Queues for shops are longer …
Continue reading “My Coronavirus diary 3”
I’m still confused about the situation with my ex. I’m sad that he’s not going to be part of my future in a romantic sense. One thing I do know is that I want to be a Mum. That’s not going to happen with my ex so I have to start focussing on me, what …
Continue reading “Operation future”
Today hasn’t been the best day. Last night, I had horrible nightmares of being chased, looking for something and not finding it and just a sense of dread/ fear. This resulted in my sleeping in and then struggling to be productive whilst working from home. The soundtrack of a power washer all day really didn’t …
Continue reading “My Coronavirus diary 2”
It’s been a while since I’ve been the person in a relationship who was the one who wanted to continue the relationship. I have to say, it hurts like hell. Rejection always does. I’m finding this really difficult. It’s so different from my last relationship break up. I ended that relationship, I’d given all I …
Continue reading “My emotional rollercoaster”
I’ve previously written about the impact of my low levels of Vitamin D on my mental and physical health. (Vitamin D, depression and me) It’s several weeks now since I finished my course of high strength Vitamin D capsules. I’ve been reluctant to go back to my GP for the repeat bloods, purely due to …
Continue reading “Vitamin D, depression and me – part 2”
There are some things that I just don’t understand and never will. The main one is how two people who love each other, get on well, have chemistry, enjoy talking to each other, spending time together and have a lot in common cannot continue in a relationship. My now ex and I were talking earlier, …
Continue reading “Feelings are tricky things”
