I’ve previously written about the impact of my low levels of Vitamin D on my mental and physical health. (Vitamin D, depression and me) It’s several weeks now since I finished my course of high strength Vitamin D capsules. I’ve been reluctant to go back to my GP for the repeat bloods, purely due to Covid-19. I know I should phone and enquire if routine bloods are being done but I am actively trying to avoid anywhere that I may encounter people who are unwell.
I was due for a follow up appointment with my asthma consultant this week. In preparation I need to have a repeat sinus X-ray and repeat lung function tests both of which would be done at the local hospital. The local hospital is also the main hospital serving not only the city I live in but the county and the two neighboring counties as well. It is frequently overcrowded and somewhere to be avoided if it can be helped. It may no longer be overcrowded, due to Covid-19 but it is still somewhere I am choosing to avoid. I’ll have the follow up investigations completed when things settle down.
Anyway, back to Vitamin D. I may not know what my current blood levels are but I do feel better. This may in part be to being able to get outside. This is due to the sun that has been shining more over the last few weeks after what was month after month of endless rain but also because I’ve started taking a really good quality daily multivitamin that includes vitamin D. I never again want to feel the way I did last year and early this year.
Don’t get me wrong, life is far from perfect. I am very anxious about the Coronavirus pandemic. I worry about catching it myself and also my family and friends. I miss being able to go out whenever I want. I miss being able to plan trips home to visit my family and friends but I am looking forward to a time when this will again be possible. I miss my ex and hate the fact that we are no longer together. (Relationship woes.) I am still taking my anti-depressants and have no plans to talk to my GP about reducing the dosage. Not yet anyway.
Even though I am working from home, my manager still manages to get under my skin. I try hard not to let it happen and I am getting better. I do feel better able to stand up for myself. What really helps is reminding myself that the way they behave towards me says everything about them and nothing about me. My self-worth and self confidence will not be diminished because of them. I am good at my job and will never again let my manager undermine me or make me doubt myself.
I have come such a long way in the last year. I’m still a work in progress. I have good days and bad days but my bad days now are nowhere near the bad days of last year. I still get stressed about things I have no control over, e.g. will my job be safe, will I ever be a Mum, is my cat happy? Some of that, I have to accept is just the way I’m wired but I will still challenge my irrational thinking and focusing on making sure as best I can that I am okay.
