We went to level 3 restrictions here on Wednesday. I wish I was optimistic that it will reduce the prevalence of Coronavirus cases but I’m not. I can see us heading for another total lockdown. To be fair, I think it will be the wake up call that we need.
I have spent all week feeling very angry towards the Irish government and Leo Varadkar in particular. NPHET make their recommendations based on evidence and would not have made the decision to recommend going to level 5 lightly. While I understand that we are in recession, that wet pubs have been closed for 6 months and that the hospitality and tourism industry is on it’s knees and that the vast sums spent on Coronavirus will have to be paid back by us, the taxpayer. Dead people don’t spend money. We have to prioritise the health of the nation and see a significant reduction in Covid-19 cases before we can safely revitilise our economy.
What really frightened me is how few ICU beds we have here in Ireland. We are not a poor country. It boggles my brain at how little was spent on the health service during the boom times. What makes me incandescent with rage is that NOTHING was done to increase capacity and staffing levels. My local hospital is overcrowded with horrendous numbers of people on trollies waiting for a bed on a regular basis. Add winter, flu season and Corinavirus into the mix and it is a recipe for disaster. Doctors will have to play God deciding who will get an ICU bed and who won’t.
Fianna Fail brought the country to it’s knees. Fine Gael did feck all to repair the damage and now they’re in coalition – we’re screwed. Not only have they voted against reducing child poverty this week, they’ve also voted against restoring the PUP (Pandemic Unemployment Payment. Greedy feckless politicians maintaining their own interests. It makes my blood boil. They should be utterly ashamed that on Sunday 4th October that of 277 staffed adult ICU beds only 39 were available. 39 across the whole of the Republic of Ireland.
NPHET recommended 4 weeks of total lockdown. The arrogance and petulance of Tánaiste Leo Varadkar on Claire Byrne was appalling. It was beyond disrespectful to Dr Tony Holohan our Chief Medical Officer and Dr Ronan Glynn our Deputy Chief Medical Officer who have worked tirelessly since March to keep us safe. I know that we are testing more so will see an increase in cases as a result. What we are seeing now is that Corinavirus is all over Ireland. Back in March the majority of cases were in Dublin with the odd case in one or two other counties. I am far more worried now than I was back in March. What really incensed me was less than 24 hours after being very derisive to the NPHET recommendation, Leo was then talking about us needing a ‘circuit breaker’ – would a 4 week level 5 lockdown do the trick by any chance?!?!
My sleep is all over the place at the moment. I am shattered tired. I’m having awful nightmares and have also taken to talking in my sleep. I admit that it does leave me a bit scared of going to sleep. As a result, I am narky and can cry at the drop of a hat – my emotions are very close to the surface and feel very overwhelming. My anxiety is kicking my ass. My patience levels are low and I get frustrated very easily. I’m also feeling very down.
My anxious brain is playing tricks on me. At least I’m hoping it is. I haven’t really heard from my ex today. We normally exchange numerous messages. I think I’ve pissed him off – he’s looking to change his car and I wasn’t as positive as he is about the car he’s looking at. I know he’s been busy working and it’s also his weekend to have his child. I miss hearing from him, I like talking to him. I talk to my cat but it’s not the same. We are friends and I’d be lost without his support.
I’m really worried about Christmas. I honestly don’t know if I’ll be able to travel home. Never mind the dilemma of whether to fly or get the ferry! I really think it might just be me and my cat for Christmas. My first ever Christmas not spent with my family. It’s a very real possibility. It makes me feel sad.
I think I need to take my meds and go to bed. I’ll hopefully feel better tomorrow.
