I’ve always joked that I change my hair if my relationship status changes. That bit is true…I chopped off my long hair when I split from my ex. It felt like a weight had been lifted in more ways than one!
I’d previously gone back to (a dyed version of) my natural hair colour. (God damn those greys!!) I also switched to permanent hair colour as the semi permament was no longer lasting as long or adequately covering the ever multiplying greys. My hair was brown for years and I liked it.
One of my resolutions for this year (20 resolutions for 2020) was to dye my hair red or purple. I chose purple and dyed it tonight. While drying my newly purple hair, I realised something very important – I feel like me again. 
My brown hair was fine but it was safe. It was a way of me blending in, hiding. I’m naturally an introvert but this was more than that. I was trying to disappear. Trying not to be noticed. My hair colour was a projection of my poor mental health.
I last dyed my hair purple 5 or so years ago. (Not saying my mental health has been declining since then but maybe on reflection, if I’m being honest with myself it was.) I felt good then. I loved my job and was happier with my weight. I felt more confident then too.
I’ve felt a bit guilty over the last 12 months that my amazing boyfriend hasn’t seen me at my best or feeling like me. Don’t get me wrong, he has been so supportive and I have no doubt that I’d still be a mess if we hadn’t met, but I still feel bad that its only now that he’s getting to see me feeling like me again.
That said, he has been with me at my worst and stuck by me so he definitely deserves to see me at my best. He is a keeper. I’ve found my soulmate.
I guess what I’m really trying to say is the seemingly simple act of colouring my hair, is about so much more than that. Watch out world, Sassy is back on top and ready to take on the world again!
