Today hasn’t been the best day. Last night, I had horrible nightmares of being chased, looking for something and not finding it and just a sense of dread/ fear. This resulted in my sleeping in and then struggling to be productive whilst working from home. The soundtrack of a power washer all day really didn’t help matters. Tomorrow is another day.
I am also starting to get sick of the sight of my own four walls. Don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly grateful to have four walls to keep me safe but I’m finding living and working in the same space irritating. I’m really yearning to go out. I want to walk on the beach. I’ll wait till it’s safe though. I won’t risk my health or anyone else’s. I just feel confined and a little stir crazy.
I planted some cornflower seeds today. It’ll take around 2 weeks before I start seeing any seedlings but it gives me something to look forward to. With all the rain we had over the past few months, I have a fungus gnat problem in the terra-cotta pot that my violas are planted in. Only one plant is still flowering. I’m not optimistic that the daffodils in the same plant pot will flower this year either. I’ll wait till the shoots have died back and I’ll replant them in fresh compost for next year.
I need to pot on my lavender plant – I’ll need to buy a bigger pot first. I’m really looking forward to the garden center opening again. On a positive note, I have two tiny sage seedlings starting to emerge. I love that nature continues to do its thing amidst all the craziness.
The lockdown and living through this global pandemic is wearing me down. I’m trying not to watch the news too often. It’s just wall to wall Coronavirus. I’m also trying to limit my social media too. I find it brings me down.
Everything just feels so surreal. I feel like I’m living in a film. My sleep isn’t great either. I’ve been having nightmares this past week. They’ve left me feeling very unsettled. I’ve also started going to bed later, it’s a bad habit that I need to get out of. I know that I’m trying to avoid going to bed so I avoid the nightmare by trying to extend the day. I need to nip it in the bud. This weekend I plan to relax and be kind to myself.
